The UNC connection may be a stretch here, but maybe the fact that my pet dachshund, Leroy, the Tar Heel Terror, has been faithfully wearing his UNC garb during all basketball games will suffice. There is a special reason that I write about him at this time. Someone forwarded a dachshund joke to me and I think it is hilarious. Those of you who know me know that, as a general rule, I don't like jokes. My experience with jokes has shown me that joke telling is frequently more about the joke teller than it is about the joke. There are good joke tellers but there are more poor joke tellers. Joke tellers often fall in love with the sound of their voice and don't know when to end a joke. I have spent many miserable minutes waiting for a joke teller to finish his joke. I have often thought that most jokes could be summarized in a one sentence punch line. I admit, it is a real treat to hear a joke told by an accomplished joke teller just as it is very entertaining to hear a good story teller spin a good yarn. I'm afraid both of these skills have suffered tremendously at the hands of tv and electronic written communications.

Here goes.

The Dachshund And The Leopard

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long, the dachshund discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thinks, "I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to attack, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away in to the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed and figured something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a food of and says "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine,

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.... and just when they get close enough, the dachshund says loud enough for the leopard and monkey to hear....."Where's that damn monkey?
I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard."
Another ram note: I made the mistake of telling this joke to Leroy and now he demands that I tell it again every night before he retires. Says it improves his self image. I ain't sure about ole Leroy and he probably ain't sure about me either.