I Ain't Writing By No Complicated Rules

Another list passed on to me which cleverly presents rules and examples of grammar. I'm not sure I understand every single one of them, but I'm not about to expose my ignorance by identifying them, and besides, it was good mental exercise. Maybe I can say I used to understand all of them, but then there was this comment written across the top of one of my papers by a professor at UNC which said, "You could use a course in advanced composition." I thought it was ironic since I got an A on the paper. I have run into a lot of things more ironic since then.

Here goes.

1. Don't abbrev.
2. Check to see if any left out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don't use participles.
6. Don't use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between you and I, case is important.
9. Join good clauses, like a conjunction should.
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized.
15. a sentence should begin with a capital and end with a period
16. Use hyphens in compound words, not just in any two-word phrase.
17. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
18. Verbs has to agree with their subject.
19. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
20. A writer must'n shift your point of view.
21. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
22. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.
(Ram note-I am told that grammarians are now saying that to end a sentence with a preposition is O.K. I don't know who to listen to.)
23. Avoid cliches like the plague.