Blue Necks

RamFanatic note:

Viewers send me lots of lists that supposedly show the cultural differences between the North and South. Some are better than others. This is one of the good ones I received recently.

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Blue necks are Northerners--the opposite of red necks. Because of red neck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners ( or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves.)

You just might be a blue neck if....

Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all", you call them "you guys" even if both of them are women.

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

You think Heinz catsup is really SPICY.

You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. ( e.g. boiled peanuts)

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You never had an RC Cola.

You have never eaten okra--fried, boiled or pickled.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You've never seen a live chicken and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

You have no idea what a pole cat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a dog.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than to grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

You drink either "pop" or "soda" instead of cokes.

You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun and knife show.

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the football coach.

You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an off ramp to the highway.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

You have more than one big league professional sports team in your home state.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Jim Bob, Mary Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, Betty Lou.)

You don't know any women with male names ( i.e. Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie ).

You don't have Maw-maws and Paw-paws.

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

None of your fur coats are home made.

You don't know the answer to Joe Pesci's question in the movie set in the South, "what is a grit?" Any Southerner knows the answer to that question. It's grits without the "s" on it.